"You might be a teacher if..."

This is a forward I just got. It's really geared more to teachers of younger children than to high school teachers like me, but still lots that's applicable.

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YOU MIGHT BE A TEACHER IF...

* You want to slap the next person who says "It must be nice to have all those holidays!"

* You can tell it's a full moon without looking outside.

* When out in public, you feel the urge to talk to strange children and correct their behaviour.

* You can 'hold on' until after lunchtime yard duty.

* You can go to the loo, take a phone call, have a conference with a
colleague, tend to first aid and have a cup of coffee in 20 minutes.

* You check for spelling and punctuation errors in every piece of writing
you see.-

* You walk around shopping centres wearing face paint, stickers and a daisy
chain, and don't even notice the stares.-

* You look 50 before you are 30.

* You can't pick a name for your unborn child as every name
reminds you of a student.

* If you can't get your friends to listen to you, you put your
hands on your head or clap or flick the lights off.

* You rate the educational value of cartoons.

* You count your life in periods of ten weeks (depending on term
length).

* You can't go anywhere without thinking 'what a great place for an
excursion!'

* You cringe at the way bank tellers grip their pens.

* You don't know the date, but you know it's day 5, week 4, term 4.

* You believe the staffroom should have a Valium salt lick.

* You believe that unspeakable evil will befall if someone says "gee, the
kids sure are mellow today."

* Meeting a child's parents instantly answers 'why is this child like this?'

* You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac.

* You get a warm inner glow when just one child says "thank you for helping me."