it's okay to be confused when reading this!

oh for the half-coherent ramblings of another past-midnight
nine deadlines hang over my head
sleep eludes me for all but a half-hour
as ideas dance through my head
and memories of seeing The Insider on TV
there is something about seeing a story of people striving to make a difference
that provokes thoughts of meaning
meaning for which I hunger
waking, showering, dressing, bussing, eating, schooling, bussing, homeworking, sleeping
and climbing back into the lab rat's wheel to try to keep up with it all
somewhere i know i should be seeing glimpses of meaning
if only i weren't so tired, perhaps i could inject some
maybe then thoughts of student-centered instead of teacher-centered instruction could find their expression in practice
oh, how much easier it is just to become a vessel blindly transmitting information
caring takes time
caring takes energy
i want to care
"I don't care," one host teacher says is one of her standard responses to the many concerns brought her way
methinks the lady doth protest too much
methinks when we say in anger that we do not care
it is because we care so deeply
it threatens us
i must care, but must care so much that i care first for me so that i continue to have the energy to care for you.
prayer.
"Lord, teach us how to pray," they asked
teach me to turn first to You
"Too busy not to pray," i'm told
and i believe it
help me to find you past the sea of my thoughts
muddying the waters
Lord, renew my passion
i can do this
but not without You.

Alright, Martin and his World of Warcraft friends are finished killing Onyxia now. I no longer have much time for WoW so my account will quietly go into expiry land for now; perhaps someday I will be a level 60 and able to join the guild in such events, but not anytime soon. For now I will go to bed and express my thoughts on paradigm shifts and the importance of "backward design" when I work on my assignments in the morning (though I may jot down a few ideas before I go to bed so they'll be there to elaborate upon rather than disappearing into dreamland). Goodnight, all (yes, we're in the wee hours of the morning, but it still counts as night so long as you're still going to go to bed before getting up later in the morning ;)). Sweet dreams.